Soapbox Speakers

News for Speakers’ Corner, Sunday 13th January.

In News for Speakers' Corner on January 14, 2019 at 1:30 pm

“Gambling is a tax for the people who can’t do maths.”
Anon.

1. It was good to have Steve Maxwell back from his jaunt up North. Welcome, Steve!

Steve Maxwell stirring the pot.

2. Mr B opened his meeting by discussing his hypothetical penchant for large women. He was aiming to make a point about hypocrisy, but the crowd soon began baying for his blood while garden gnomes tried to voice their opinions out of turn. As a result, Mr B lost his voice. He sounded like a squeaky toy. Then the baying crowd, barely trying to hide their amusement, pretended to be kind and caring by offering all sorts of useless advice. Of course, it was a ruse to get him off the Ladder of Knowledge.

‘Two-Polarity-Mirko’ finally convinced Mr B to temporarily remove himself from the stand to recover, by kindly offering to take the stand himself. Mirko explained to us the importance of oxygen. “Without it you are dead!” declared the harbinger of doom. Someone suggested that other things might also be important for our survival but Mirko quickly put him in his place.

By the time Mirko had finished presenting his dire warning Mr B still hadn’t fully recovered, so Uncle Pete took the stand. He expressed his dismay with the politicians’ handling of HECS debts. Here is what he had to say:

3. Mr B finally managed to make his point about our hypocrisy, and then a passer-by asked for our views about communism. We heard a few views until the Commissariat arrived and marched us off to a nearby labour camp. Here is one view from Mark the Grinner:

4. Here is another view from someone raised in East Berlin before the wall fell. She also spent a few years in West Germany, and in the USA, and now lives here in Sydney.

5. “I met a woman in Houston while on tour as a musician. We went back to her place. Clothes were coming off. No words exchanged, no verbal confirmation that we both wanted to have sex. I simply made a move, and she didn’t say no. I leaned in for a kiss, she didn’t say no. I put my hands on her breasts, she didn’t say no. I reached down her pants, she didn’t say no. I went through the motions, all the way up to and through intercourse, and she didn’t say no, so I assumed she was enjoying herself and everything was good. Then after sex was over she turned to me and said : ‘You raped me.'”

Mr B read those words from an article, and so began a group discussion about consent that didn’t finish until nearly 6pm. It was interesting and enlightening.

Here is a postcard from the Postsecret site that might confuse the men who can’t understand women.

6. Our very best wishes to Jack, who has been AWOL. He has a fairly good excuse though: he has had double bypass surgery on his heart.

We hope your full recovery is imminent, Jack.

The legs of a large pigeon.

7. Other subjects discussed:
– John August had some interesting things to say about Russia’s socialism. But when he tried to redirect the course of the meeting Mr B took umbrage and told him to clear off.

– Ben the Whisperer stood on the Ladder of Knowledge and accused Mark the Grinner of confusing socialism with social security, adding that communism and socialism are destined to fail. Ben was particularly scathing of China.

– while Mr B went to get the car, Helmut took over. But by then it was nearly 6pm and Helmut was fuming. He spent the entire time lambasting Mr B!

– Last week and this week Mark the Grinner lamented the fact that Australians are losing their identity and becoming Americans. Mr B responded by saying, “No wonder! There is no Australian identity!” According to Mr B, Australia is just a collection of disparate communities. Multiculturalism has benefited the nation considerably, but it has obliterated any Australian identity we may have had. We can’t have our cake and eat it too.


8. In our Unusual Creature Series we present to you a sea slug. It has expressed no interest in our Facebook page.

 

 

 

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