Soapbox Speakers

News for Speakers’ Corner, Sunday 1st October

In News for Speakers' Corner on October 2, 2017 at 11:16 am

“To seek freedom is the only driving force I know. Freedom… to be like the flame of a candle, which , in spite of being up against the light of a billion stars, remains intact, because it never pretended to be more than what it is: a mere candle.”
Carlos Castaneda.

1. Mr B had hardly got started when Albert began evangelising about collective consciousness. Albert insisted that half the world was trying to kill the other half, and that we should all love each other instead. Mr B exclaimed that he had heard enough of Albert’s banalities over the past year and that was the last straw. He castigated Albert for making such fatuous comments, and for grossly exaggerating. The two men went toe-to-toe and Albert won the encounter, which wasn’t fair argued Mr B, because Albert is 92 and should be in a nursing home eating his banana custard.

2. Last week the world was supposed to end again. We speakers are all out of Rapture Cards like the one below, but we’re having more printed.

3. It was the first day of Daylight Saving and amazingly, Tony was on time. Is Tony finally getting the hang of it?

4. Mirko claims that his invention for reducing a household’s energy consumption by 75% is ready and working. Mr B didn’t ask to see the device; he asked to see two electricity bills: one from a year ago, and the most recent one.

We will keep you posted on that, dear reader.

We hope Mirko’s device doesn’t infringe on the copyright of this astounding invention.

5. The best way for a nation to get rid of smoking is to raise the legal age by one year, every year, says Mr B. In eighty years no one will be smoking, and no one who is 18+ today will have had their rights infringed.

Plus, the governments and the tobacco companies will have eighty years to get used to the diminshing income.

Someone suggested we try that with alcohol, too!

6. A young woman asked, “What do you think of young people’s use of smartphones?”

Mr B surprised us all by explaining why he was in favour of them.

One grasshopper disagreed, and others complained about having to ‘leap out of the way’ when zombie-like pedestrians walk towards them staring at their smartphones. Mr B accused them of being whingers. That didn’t go well.

7. The ‘Something Nice’ segment, to charm some and irritate others.

Chinese doctors bow to an 11 year-old boy with brain cancer. He saved several lives by donating his organs.

8. What is money, and how is it generated? How does $1,000 become $2,000 without extra money being printed?

He then moved onto his old chestnut: real financial security.

9. Other subjects discussed:
– Steve Maxwell spoke of Australian politics today and in particular, about the Sydney Morning Herald’s article on the Leader of the National Party’s lobbying activities.

– Some risqué poems were recited. Too risky for this blog.

– “Death bed clarity.”  That’s what the happiness gurus claim happens when we are on our death bed. Apparently, we don’t look back and say, “I wish I had worked more.” Instead, we say, “I wish I had spent more time with the kids.”  The gurus then sagely recommend that we make smarter decisions now.
“Phooey,” said Mr B, and gave his reasons.

– A grasshopper said that Helmut was particularly interesting as he boomed across the park from the Ladder of Knowledge.

– ‘Give your life to Jesus!’  That was Ray’s message, as usual. Ray is like a fly in the outback. Persistent.

– “Why do refugees coming by boat discard their docoments on the way?” The answers received were varied and vibrant. There will be more answers this coming Sunday.

– Can a sports team psyche out another team? If so, how? Why do intelligent people enjoy watching 36 men kick around a football in a ‘paddock’?  How can winning a Grand Final be the best day in a person’s life – even better than the day they got married and the day their child was born? Mr B had answers.

Mr B holding the (real) AFL premiership cups won by Hawthorn in ’13 & ’14.

10. Our Facebook page is not that popular. This scribe might try MySpace instead.

Glenda Browne noticed this sign and rightly took a picture. Thanks, Glenda!

 

 

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