Soapbox Speakers

News for Speakers’ Corner, Sunday 19th March

In News for Speakers' Corner on March 19, 2017 at 10:06 am

“I don’t like violence. I’m allergic to it. I come out in cuts and bruises.’
Jack Fraenkel

1. This week we promoted Speakers’ Corner. It’s part of our five-year plan to make Speakers’ Corner Australia’s best and most famous tourist attraction. (The five-year plan expires in April.)

Helmut did his bit. At 4am Tuesday morning  he got someone to clock him with the butt of a gun, and then he rang an ambulance. The media were soon broadcasting that  ‘a well known speaker at Speakers’ Corner has been attacked with the butt of a gun‘. Straight away, interest in Speakers’ Corner soared, with hits to this website going through the roof.

Well done, Helmut. Keep up the good work.

2. On the following night there was a glimpse of Speakers’ Corner on the ABC’s Cyberhate documentary, hosted by Tara Moss.

What was the result of that welcome publicity?

For a start, our Epiphany Specialist, Mr Bashful, has expressed dismay. He says that in his six years of being an infallible pillar of wisdom at Speakers’ Corner he has not once been wrong, except on just one occasion. And how is it, he wants to know, that on the day of that rare occasion cameras just happened to be rolling? And why, of all the hours of footage taken that day, and of all the hours in which he expressed his searing insights, did the film producers choose to include in their documentary just that one solitary blunder?

It’s a conspiracy, he claims. A stitch up. A coup. Obviously, the producers had planned this well in advance. They would have hired a think tank to examine his rock-solid arguments until a tiny flaw in his logic was found, and then employed the disarming Tara Moss to catch him out.

Why go to all this trouble to taint his reputation, he wants to know?

3. This scribe thinks that Mr B’s reputation wasn’t just tainted . . .

Apart from utterly destroying Mr Bashful’s reputation, the documentary was going to remind Sydney-ites that we’re still here. So, after the documentary concluded, did people rush to their computers to google “Speakers’ Corner Sydney?”  Was this site inundated with hits? Did this site crash, unable to handle the cyber traffic?

Well, no. On Tuesday this site received plenty of hits from people googling Helmut, but on late Wednesday night and on Thursday, after the documentary had aired, we received fewer hits than usual! Oh dear.

Ah, but after seeing Helmut’s antics on the news, and after watching Tara’s documentary, did people make a mental note to visit Speakers’ Corner on Sunday? Did they flock to Speakers’ Corner today? Did the speakers arrive at 2pm to find a madding crowd waiting for them? Were the speakers hailed like rock stars?

No.

Were the crowds bigger than usual?

No.

Even slightly?

No. They were smaller than usual.

Sigh.

4. How well did the book signing go? Not well. No one presented a book to have signed. (This suggests that the ‘5 book limit’ was unnecessary.)

Mr B was adamant that had this book been presented to him . . .


. . .  he would have refused to sign it. When he first read it months ago he claimed it was one of the most enlightening and absorbing books he had read in a long time. He is reading it again, studiously searching for flaws in Tara’s logic. When he finds a flaw he will announce it at Speakers’ Corner.

Here is some advice for you, Mr B: know when you’re beaten.

5. In short, it would be fair to say that Speakers’ Corner is impervious to publicity.

6. Mirko got up onto the Ladder of Knowledge for five minutes and talked about Mother Nature’s role in the end of the  Universe. Thanks, Mirko!

7. Two anti-vaxinators, Leigh and Renata, bravely took turns to stand on the Ladder of Knowledge and present their point of view. They spoke clearly and robustly without umming and aaahing, and coped well with the ire and the flak they received from the hecklers.  They did a good job!

They would probably be critical of the man below:

When asked why he didn’t patent it, he replied, ‘Can you patent the sun?’

8. The ‘Something Nice’ segment, to charm some and irritate others.

9. Poems from Peter the Younger, Uncle Pete and Mr B. Even Nobel Prize winner (cough, snigger) Bob Dylan got a mention when this excerpt from his song, ‘The Masters of War‘ was recited:

I hope that you die
and your death’ll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I’ll stand over your grave
‘Til I’m sure that you’re dead.


10. Today’s assertiveness
tip will be just as popular as last week’s, no doubt: Don’t use the term ‘Are you sure?’.

Bill: ‘Do you mind if I sit here?’
Jane: That’s fine.
Bill: ‘Are you sure?’

Bill: ‘Would you like a second helping?’
Jane: ‘No thank you.’
Bill: ‘Are you sure?’

In the first instance, Bill is afraid of being a burden to Jane. In the second, Bill is concerned Jane does not want to burden him. Either way, Bill has a ‘burden’ issue which will undermine him in other aspects of his life.

Although Bill’s intention is to appear polite and concerned, he appears weak. An assertive person would accept the person’s decision. When we immediately accept a person’s decision we give them respect. We assume their decisions mean something. Giving them that credit increases the connection we have with them.

For slightly more information click here.

11. Mr B told the story about Alice and the Dark Forest. Was that fear in the eyes of his grasshoppers when he came to the scary bits? Or were they just desperately trying to keep their eyes open?

Click here for the story about Alice and the Dark Forest.

12. Other topics discussed today:
– The merit of the implementation of The Richmond Report.

– The president of the ACTU, Sally McManus, suggested that it’s okay to break unjust laws. Is she right?

– The sexuality of transgender people.

– The two kinds of happiness.

– The source of anxiety.

– Mr Bashful’s ambivalent feelings about the homeless.

As usual, Helmut took The Ladder of Knowledge late in the day and kept the crowd entertained until it was time for us all to go home.

13. We now have an astonishing 48 subscribers on our Facebook page. Admittedly, that is 31,400 fewer than has Tara Moss.

And you can try our Archives.

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